TGD Customer Service
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Article By Ivy Scurr (she/her)
People within the TGD community have a wide variety of identities (who they are), presentations (how they look), and experiences (stories and feelings.) While it can be affirming for some people who are binary trans women or men who ‘pass’ visually as their gender to have strangers correctly guess the right pronouns for them, a whole lot of the time folks will get it wrong. Expecting that you can guess the gender of a person you do not know relies on a lot of culturally coded assumptions about what genders look like which often erase the wide variety of ways people can experience and present their gender. This is even worse for non-binary people whose gender does not fit into the assumed two categories of ‘man’ or ‘woman’, there is no way to ‘pass’ as non-binary and have people reliably guess the correct pronouns.
There are a whole lot of genders outside the two our society assumes, and there are equally many ways for people to look. This is even a problem for a lot of cis people who are gender non-conforming and/or have very unconventional fashion styles. All of this means that it is impossible to tell at a glance or from briefly hearing someone’s voice what their gender identity or pronouns are. Using the wrong pronouns for someone can cause discomfort and even substantial harm, this is not how you want to treat customers and members of your wider community. So how to support TGD folks who come to your business?
Note: all of these tips should be used whether you think there are trans folks visiting your business or not, as stated above there is no one way to look trans or cis . Be inclusive, and you’ll get it right more often.
Avoid using terms such as ‘ladies’, ‘guys’, etcetera when greeting customers – instead use gender neutral language like ‘folks’. Not everyone is a lady or a guy, and you won’t always get it right.
Default to using they/them/theirs for all customers instead of trying to guess who might use she, he, or other pronouns. They is a neutral pronoun that can be used for single individuals as well as groups, and is used for those you do not know the gender or pronouns of as just like you would use it for those who exclusively use they/them.
Feel free to introduce yourself to new customers with your pronouns and name, but do not ask people what their pronouns or gender are (unless its an intake form for medical service and the information is actually relevant) as this may make them feel singled out for not fitting your expectations about gender presentation.
Do not make assumptions about what products a potential customer might use based on how you perceive them. Being herded toward different clothing sections for instance can be an awkward and demoralising experience for folks who may look a way you do not expect for their gender.
If your business provides restroom facilities do not police which toilet people use. If you only have one toilet it would already be gender neutral be default, if you have multiple toilets make sure at least one is clearly labelled as gender neutral so non-binary folks are not forced to choose between binary toilets that do not fit.
If a customer tells you that another staff member or other customer is treating them poorly due to their gender or presentation, do something concrete to follow it up and support the customer who made the complaint.
Remain open to feedback on how to improve your support of TGD individuals – this is only an introduction, there is always more to learn and lots of variation of TGD folks’ experiences.
If you are friendly, non-judgmental, and affirming, people will remember and be more likely to return to places where they have had positive experiences with staff. This is just as applicable for TGD folks as for others in the LGBTQIA+ community, people with different disabilities, or folks from different marginalised positions or cultural backgrounds.
Click here to download Supporting TGD Customers as:
An audio file - A4 Print Size (2 pages)) - a large A4 print/mobile version - a plaintext doc - a poster