Sexism is both overt and institutional; it is in our everyday conversations and is engrained in our workplaces, classrooms and friend groups. You might not be familiar with it, or you might think that it isn’t a ‘big deal’ anymore. But, it is. Wom*n still face a whole lot of shit. 

For me, there was definitive end to being cat-called, touched without consent or having something mansplained to me. Once I started experiencing the masculinising effects of testosterone, I began to gain male privilege. All of a sudden, people began to care what I think, I could walk home at night with minimal concern, my voice was heard and encouraged, and people rarely talked over me. It is a surreal experience to be suddenly treated differently- especially when that difference is explicitly linked to gaining masculine traits. 

Overall, it’s pretty fucked. Within a six-month period, I was given a free pass through life. With everything I did, I had a head start; it was zero to one-hundred and sure, everything was pretty fine [for me]. One day, I was having a chat with some cisgender guys in my class and for the first time in my life, I heard what it sounds like when men talk about wom*n behind closed doors. The vile, misogynistic, ‘locker-room banter’, objectifying wom*n as a means to an end. Not only did male privilege systematically give me a leg up in life, but apparently, it also gave men a green light to not sensor themselves around me. What is even stranger, is the world seems to think that this is okay. Men are so used to being given this leg up, that they don’t even know they have one. They are so used to looking down on wom*n, that it has just become ‘normal’. 

I still see how wom*n respond to men, or male-passing people like myself. I see the quickened pace, the unnecessary road crossing, the phoning of a friend and tightened grip of the car keys tight between their fingers. It is saddening that these are all now responses to my presence, but I understand. More so, it disappointing that most men are oblivious to it all. 

“But I’m a man and I would NEVER...”

“Not ALL men…”

It may not feel like you are part of the problem, you might not even be overtly sexist. The point is, you live in a world dominated by men. Instead of being defensive, I challenge you to actively think about your privilege. Know that because of your gender, you navigate this world with power. You’ve given a leg up; a head start. You can change your behaviour based on your privilege. Ask yourself, am I dominating this conversation? Am I interrupting? Did they ask for my help? How can I be an active bystander? Be mindful of your social self and bring your tolerance of sexism and misogyny to zero. 

Of course, your privilege is intersectional; you have to see it as part of a bigger picture. There are more biases out there than sexism, and consequently, some men may still have a lot against them. However, this doesn’t negate male privilege and nonetheless, I encourage you to think about yourself, your behaviours, beliefs and challenge them. Think about how you exist in the world and most importantly, how to support the voices of those less privileged.