Supporting Trans and Gender Diverse Kids and Youth

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Article By Taryn Dorrough (they/he)

Whether you run a cosy café, large medical practice or simply a single office desk, it is important to create an inclusive and safe space. For young Transgender and Gender Diverse (TGD) people, reaching out for the first time can be the most difficult hurdle to overcome.

On that note, visibility matters! Whether it’s a rainbow flag, ally sticker or gender inclusive forms, a young person exploring their sexuality or questioning their gender will most likely notice and it’ll brighten up their week.

In situations around school, the shops or simply visiting the Doctor, hearing the wrong pronouns or refusal to use a preferred name can have a devastating impact on the mental health of already vulnerable teens. So politely correct others if they make a mistake or if you notice colleagues using incorrect language. You wouldn’t expect a teen to call out their bully’s behaviour, so stand up for those who are unable to themselves if you can.

Affirm the young person, despite expectations from family and society.

Don’t say ‘it’s just a phase,’ or ‘they are too young to know’ instead, listen to what they want and encourage gender exploration without the pressure to make any firm decisions.

Transitioning is not just medical.

When a young TGD person comes out, it doesn’t automatically mean they want hormones or surgery. Changing names, pronouns, clothing or style are just some of the ways to validate or affirm someone’s gender identity.

Don’t confuse gender and sexuality.

For people exploring non-binary gender identities, explaining who they are attracted to can be complicated. TGD people are not always straight nor do they necessarily identify with being bisexual, asexual or any other label. If you are aware of a person’s gender identity, it does not mean you can ask and their sexuality is most likely not relevant and none of your business.

If we do reach out, we are seeking help. Transgender youth are not your teachers so be willing to educate yourself and put in the effort to learn. If you don’t know something, find out!

There are many guides for supporting TGD youth at school (check out MINUS18), navigating transition, connecting with social groups and much more. We don’t expect you to have all the answers; most of the time we just need a bit of affirmation and support.

Top Tips for Supporting TGD Youth

Check Name and Pronouns

Check if they go by a different name to what may be on formal documents
Ask which pronouns they use
Should these be used publicly, among friends or remain between the two of you?

Maintain Confidentiality and Professionalism

Don’t disclose their identity without permission, as this could place the young person in an unsafe environment
Do not assume parents/guardians are aware or supportive of someone’s identity
Remember that inappropriate or irrelevant questions are a breach of privacy

Encourage Connection with TGD Peers

Suggest LGBTIQA+ hangouts like ‘As You Are’ at Headspace
Check out Twenty10 for online chats and events for people aged 12-25
With permission connect them to other TGD people, maintaining the privacy of everyone involved

Be a Role Model

Use preferred names and pronouns and politely correct others if they make a mistake
Call out transphobic comments and behaviours. If you don’t know what this looks like, find out!

Educate Yourself

Browse plenty of reliable resources online
Be willing to put in the effort and learn

Be a Visible Ally

Individuals: Use stickers, posters, flags and resource handouts
Companies: Have inclusive policies and clear complaint/discrimination procedures. Use gender neutral forms and aim for gender neutral bathrooms or signage