Hi  im jasper

Im 16, they/he

And here’s my story…

Growing up I was never happy with myself

I could never put a finger on why I felt like this.  I was born a girl  and people told me to be like a girl  act like one, dress etc

And of course I followed along with it    and so it went

Childhood was hard. I was always yelled at  and at a young age you don’t really know why  or what's going on me and my mother never were close as I was growing up 

Not getting into anything personal. But she’s all I had besides my grandparents. When you’re a small child things seem easy  and you have nothing to worry about .

I kept most things to myself   looking back on them, maybe things would be different?.

Anyway. I lived up a hill from my grandparents so everyday I visited them and hung out with my grandmother’s animals.

 My grandmother was a great person.

She took care of me more then my true mom

I never knew about the lgbt.  I was only told it wasn’t ok by my family.  So of course, young me follows along.

Years later

2015. I was 12 when I lost my mother  it was hard.   I was soon adopted by my grandparents and lived with them

I was a good kid at the time  always doing what I was told, but as I get older

About 13-14

I start having feelings for the same sex  and questioning my gender. I wasn’t given a ‘right’ to test out what clothes made me feel like me or anything  - so I just pushed it off 

I started playing with different labels and what genders that were out there  - some friends did help me out 

I began looking into the term transgender, other kinds of terms, doing my research

Dressing into men’s clothes, going by he or they.

November,21 2018 I start to social transition      

Of course my family did not like this at all. They are very religious

My grandmother most of all  gave me a lot of backlash. I lost my (at the time, girlfriend)  and some of my friends 

I started getting hurt by my family and thought it was my fault.

Like I was cursed like this  but no matter how much I tried telling myself   “I’m not a boy I’m a girl”  I knew what my brain was telling me - what my body wasn’t.  I was depressed and thought if this is what life is going to be like now

I don’t want to be part of it.

2020 and.. even now things are still hard.  but I have awesome friends, a wonderful partner who has helped me a great deal to keep me going on,even in these times. I even have a close friend of mine I'm moving in with.

We can make it together - we can.

To those still struggling:

Never stop. Keep going strong and show those who did you wrong that you are strong  and who you are. You should be proud of that, always.